June 2012
May 2012
“To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget….Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”
—Arundhati Roy (via pigeongrasse)
I have the best list of reflections ever, but I'm waiting until after graduation
It's hitting me.
This is about to be a really sentimental/nostalgic post, so if you’re not into that, get outta here.
I just hosted my school chapter’s National English Honor Society Annual Induction Ceremony, during which we inducted the new board, the new membership, and said our goodbyes. And finally, for the first time, it’s hitting me that I am actually graduating high school and leaving this place.
My friends have been saying it for weeks ever since we finished our last APs ever, but it’s taken this long for it to hit me. I don’t know why, since I wasn’t particularly touched or moved by National English Honor Society…actually, after this year’s disastrous events, it’s really been more stressful and worrisome than anything else. I took over as President halfway through the year because the previous President just…decided she had enough…and things didn’t flow very smoothly. But I just stood up at a podium, announced new leaders, congratulated the new membership, stepped down, and said goodbye. And it was really, really weird. The teacher advisor was all smiles, saying, “YEAH! WE DID IT!” because we barely made it through this year, and it just felt very much like he was one of us seniors (he’s only 30) and as if he was referring to our entire high school experience instead of just English Honor Society.
But now it’s hitting me that it’s actually over…and tomorrow I am going to the first of three senior awards ceremonies. And next week is senior week. And next Friday, in 8 days, is my senior prom. And three days after that is graduation rehearsal. And then, on the 21st, I will graduate high school.
What is time and where the HELL has it gone? What’s going on? I swear I don’t even know what’s happening or why everything is moving so fast. Things are moving SO fast. And I’m scared that I’m missing something in life because I’m growing up so fast and I can’t seem to remember all the little details or where the little moments went. They came, they passed, and suddenly, quite suddenly, it’s all coming to an end.
THIS IS SO WEIRD
WHEN DID I BECOME A SENIOR AND HOW AM I GRADUATING
WHAT IS GOING ON
Sometimes, things are just irreversible. And that's it.
Nothing will ever be the same twice; sometimes, yes, it is okay to push backwards and fight for that person, place, or memory that once made you feel whole, because maybe, yes, you were meant to pull it with you into the future. Sometimes you should fight for the people and things you want, even if they seem irretrievable or a matter of the past. Fighting propels you forward, and fighting may make a difference.
But you have to know where to draw the line. You have to understand when you can fight for a piece of your past and carve it into the future. If you have to push and force and shove that piece in, if it doesn’t seem to belong anywhere, if it fits nicely now but is quite clearly transient and will not hold for more than three months, then the fighting is not worth it.
It’s the past now. It was beautiful, it was glorious, and it will always be a part of you. Maybe it helped shape you into who you are right now. But maybe that’s all it is meant to be - a part of the past, a fond memory, a nostalgic twinge in your heart, a faint smile in your eyes. Life wants you to move forward, uncover great things, meet incredible people, and become an extraordinary person…sometimes, fighting the current is too difficult. Sometimes, yes it is worth it. But other times, you just have to roll with the punches to get to what’s real. - Van Halen
It’s a painful punch, but punches make us stronger, no? Life is asking me to move forward, so I must. Life wants be to learn to do this, to struggle, and to grow…life does not want me flailing my arms madly, dashing backwards, running in circles, and draining myself emotionally just for maybe, if I could be so lucky, five perfect days the entire summer. Granted, they would be beyond perfect, but I already had that one perfect night, so I need to be grateful for that. And the perfection would not last…I would falter, we would hurt, I would be selfish, we would go through the same exact thing all over again, and it would detract from my potential chance to meet extraordinary people and let them mold me, too.
It will get better. It always gets better, duh. For now, keep on moving. Life is asking you to move. Stop crawling backwards, stop staring at pictures, stop lying on the floor and wondering, stop thinking and thinking and analyzing and wondering and should-have, could-have, would-have, because it’s done, the pieces are part of you, but they are part of your past, and chasing infinite circles will not get you farther.
Guaranteed: You will know when something is worth fighting for and worth the struggle.
There's too much gravity in here
PRODUCTS: Pencils of Promise
Pumped for our collaboration with Adam Braun + Pencils of Promise! Founded in 2008, the organization builds schools in the developing world and trains socially conscious young leaders to take action at home and abroad.
Adam stopped by the office to shoot a video promoting the Pencils of Promise pendants we’re selling. Learn more and buy here.
“Sometimes I’m terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.”
—Edgar Allan Poe
I went to a city council meeting tonight as a project thing for my gov class and I thought it’d be boring but it was actually pretty interesting. I’m impressed. Gooo local government!
“It’s a little bit horrifying just how quickly everything can fall to crap. Sometimes, it takes a huge loss to remind you of what you care about the most. Sometimes, you find yourself becoming stronger as a result, wiser, better equipped to deal with the next big disaster that comes along. Sometimes, but not always.”
—Grey’s Anatomy. (via sahgommes)
lol
so one of the characters in my book was drugged in the beginning and is just realizing now
and i’m looking up different kinds of drug so i can make the symptoms realistic and everything
and for the class of drugs that i wanted to use (before i knew better), apparently “the primary function is to induce sleep”
so can you imagine
JK READERS, YOUR PROTAGONIST WAS ACTUALLY ASLEEP THE WHOLE TIME!!!
lol.
Vulnerable Palpitations
Try again, baby, run into the world with your ears vulnerable to the music of the wind and your mouth open to taste the air’s salty sea mist. Let everything be open: your hands, to touch the rugged creases of one hundred year old oaks; your toes, to sprint bare across a wide field; your mind, to absorb the stories of those around you; your heart, to feel their stories and hold them as your own, to feel everyone and everything, and to remember that this is not over, and this will never be over, for as long as your pulse drums against your rib cage, you are alive and you might as well touch, absorb, inhale, and feel everything.
